Gown Hunt: Plus-Size Edition

So, as you may have already seen, I said “Yes!” to my wedding dress a couple of weeks ago. In fact, it was the very first major wedding decision that I made, go figure! One thing to immediately check off the Wedding To-Do list, hehe.

Now, I know that for many people, buying your dress before you even have your venue or date solidified is a little bit crazypants, and I didn’t necessarily intend to have my decision made so early on, but that being said, it wasn’t a quick decision either. It took visiting quite a few different salon visits and trying on just a few different dresses before I made my decision, so I’m glad I got started early.

Now, for those of you who may be hoping for a fairytale story all about how I tried on The Dress, knew immediately, cried, and it was all over, I hate to disappoint you, but that’s not exactly how it went for me. I mean, I did find The Dress, and there were tears (eventually), but it didn’t exactly go down the way you see it on TV.

I was actually pretty anxious about the dress-buying process, due to a combination of my love of designer wedding dresses and the fact that I am most definitely NOT a sample size. See, unless you’re shopping exclusively at big box stores like Kleinfeld’s or David’s Bridal (or at a salon that specializes in plus-size gowns), sample sizes dresses are what you have to work with. And for those of us ladies with a little more to love, the wedding dress samples in bridal salons will almost certainly NOT be your size.

Allow me to elaborate for those of you who might not be familiar with the process. Bridal salons usually own dresses in one size, and that size is usually a “wedding” size 10 or 12. Which, in real life, equals about a street size 6 or 8. (How cruel is that, by the way? C’mon, wedding industry! How about a little vanity sizing, eh?)

Soooo, what this means is that if you’re smaller than the sample size, when you try on a dress, your consultant will use clamps and pins to pull in the dress to make it fit closer to your body.

And for someone on the other side, when the sample is too small, the salon will use clamps and pins to clip the dress to your bra, or use other means of securing it, since it won’t be able to zip up all the way.

But what did this mean for someone who is a size 16, like me? Well, it meant that I was admittedly pretty nervous going into the whole dress shopping experience, that’s what. After all, what if I would be physically unable to try on the dresses I liked? You hear horror stories about plus-sized brides going dress shopping and having to do things like hold the dress up in front of them to “get an idea,” since they can’t actually put it on. I was definitely not excited about that prospect.

Complicating things further was the fact that I knew dress shopping wouldn’t exactly be a “classic” experience for me. You know, the kind that you see on SYTTD, where you go in and tell the consultant some things you like, and they pull dresses for you. Stuff like, “I like lace, I don’t like beading, I’m open to a mermaid-style silhouette,” and all that.

But I’ve spent so much time reading blogs, watching TLC, and generally being a crazyperson, that I already knew specifically which dresses I wanted to try — Hayley Paige Dori, Lazaro 3450, Jim Hjlem 8500, Monique Lhullier Bliss ballgown, and so on. So I actually chose bridal salons to visit based on whether or not they carried those gowns (most salons list what designers they carry on their website, so I just called to ask if they had those specific gowns.) Which also meant that I wasn’t able to simply go to a plus-sized bridal atelier to find my gown, because the two that are in this area don’t carry the dresses that I wanted to see.

Anyway, knowing that I loved certain gowns but being unsure as to whether or not I’d actually be able to try them on, one of the first things that I did was make an impromptu solo visit to David’s Bridal (where the above photos were taken as well.) I wanted to be able to try on some different shapes and silhouettes, since they do carry most of their dresses in larger sizes (and they also go by normal sizing there — I tried on dresses that were primarily sizes 14 – 18.)

While I already had a pretty good idea of what I wanted, this appointment definitely confirmed the silhouettes I liked (A-line and ballgown):

Versus those that, well, just were simply not as flattering (pretty much anything else, haha):

None of the DB dresses I tried ended up being “the One,” (the Melissa Sweet in the upper left corner of the first collage was the one I liked best), and even if I had fallen in love that day, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to commit without first being able to see the other dresses that I already had in mind. So, armed with some knowledge of how different shapes looked on my body, and a lot of hope, I made my bridal salon appointments.

And, lo and behold… the dresses fit!

Lazaro 3450

Sort of!

This Lazaro blew my mind with its ombre skirt, but was reeeeeeally far outside of my budget, womp womp.

I mean, obviously they didn’t fit. But, amazing, miraculously, astonishingly, I was able to get on every dress I had my eye on — with a bit of finagling, of course. They were barely able to zip up at all, so the bodices were basically left totally open in the back and all had to be pinned/clamped on. But! I was able to get a real idea of how the dresses would look… with just a little of imagination needed to reassure my mom that my boobs will (hopefully) not be spilling out of my dress once it’s in my size. Heh.

Now, I do think that it just happened to be good fortune that the silhouette I loved was also the easiest for me to try on (since the size of my hips/butt doesn’t really matter with ballgowns), but if I had been looking for a more fitted style, I would probably have been SOL.

Anyway, from there on out, it was basically just a matter of trying on the, um, not small number of dresses that I had my greedy eyes on, hahaha.

Clockwise from top: Lazaro 3108, Hayley Paige Londyn, Monique Lhullier Bliss ballgown, Hayley Paige Dori (white), Jim Hjelm 8500, Hayley Paige Dori (alabaster)

And I did also try on additional dresses that the consultants recommended, some of which I also really liked:

Clockwise from top: Lazaro 3018, Watters Carina bodice and Ahsan skirt, Hayley Paige Lennon (omg this sample was so small), Lazaro 3100

So yeah, as if I hadn’t been annoying enough throughout the dress-buying process, as it turned out, I basically loved every single dress I tried on. Oops. So trying on dresses turned out to be more like a process of elimination rather than a “This is the one!” kind of experience.

I was able to say goodbye to some because they were too expensive (the easiest way to eliminate options, haha), some because they didn’t feel quite “bridal” enough (though I still looooved the gowns), and some just didn’t have quite the “unique” factor that I was looking for. And eventually I narrowed down my choices to just two dresses!

I actually ended up trying on both of my final contenders multiple times because I was so enamoured with them both, and had a pretty difficult time deciding between the two of them because they were so different. Which, I know, sounds super cliche, but it’s true! They have totally different aesthetics and general feel, even if the silhouette is similar.

We did do our own little version of “jacking me up” (as Monty from SYTTD Atlanta puts it, haha), with the whole veil/belt/hairpiece reveal and, I am happy to report, that I did finally have my tearful reaction (hooray!) to one dress in particular. But I was still torn because while I did have that visceral reaction to one dress, I kept thinking that the other dress was more in-keeping with the overall theme and vision for the wedding.

So I left the final bridal appointment having decided not to decide just yet. I wanted to take the weekend to think about it, and I’m definitely glad that I did because…

… as you probably already suspected, eventually a decision was made! Turns out that over the weekend, I couldn’t get one dress out of my mind (the one I ended up crying for), and I knew that was probably a pretty good sign. So, I headed back to the salon and officially made my purchase!

I won’t be revealing my dress here on the blog on the off-chance that Sean suddenly decides to start reading here (he doesn’t normally follow my blog, but you never know…), but I will share with you what the runner-up was:

Hayley Paige Josie

The Hayley Paige Josie was in close, close contention for being my wedding dress, due to it’s incredible fully beaded bodice (these pictures really don’t do it justice) and beautiful color (it comes in both white and moonstone.) I also thought it had a really glamorous feel, which fit very well with the overall wedding vibe I was thinking of.

Ultimately, though, I decided that this dress had so much wow-factor, it was almost overwhelming. I also thought it would be harder to accessorize with, since the bodice of the dress is already so blingy. And when it came down to it, the dress I chose just felt entirely more “me,” which definitely makes it feel like the right choice.

So, I put my deposit down and couldn’t be happier with my decision! The agonizing part now is going to be waiting for it to come in! Designer dresses can take anywhere from three to six months to come in, and then have another month or two of alterations after that. Whew!

It does bear mentioning that I had to pay a “size surcharge” on top of the cost of the dress, which, let me tell you, didn’t feel super great. Apparently with Hayley Paige any dress over a bridal size 18 come with an extra fee. Which, I gotta say, does kind of feel like BS to me, because you could be a street size 10 or 12 and still have to order a bridal size 18 depending on your measurements.

See, to be safe, wedding dresses are usually ordered based on the size that matches your largest measurement (since it is infinitely easier to take in a dress over letting it out.) Actually, that was a bit of a dilemma in and of itself, because my hips measured several sizes above my waist, but the consultant said that it should be fine to order the dress based on the smaller size because of the silhouette. Anyway, what’s done is done with regard to paying the fat tax surcharge, and I’m still happy with my choice. It just wasn’t the most self-esteem boosting part of the experience, haha.

So there you have it! My “I Found the Gown” experience from beginning to end. Well, from beginning until I get it in my hands, and then the alterations process can begin, haha. Hopefully, I was able to accurately portray my gown shopping experience. There aren’t a ton of resources out there on what dress shopping is like for a plus-size bride in general, let alone for someone who has as, ahem, particular tastes as me, so I’m hoping this will be a helpful accounting for at least one other person out there? And if not, at least I got to post a lot of pictures of gorgeous dresses, so that’s fun. 😛

What was your gown shopping experience like? And what did your wedding dress look like?

Fatkinis in Paradise

Back in January, my family and I made plans to go on a giant summer vacation together to Cabo San Lucas. It’d be the whole gang — my parents, my siblings and siblings-in-law, my sister’s parents-in-law (they actually have a timeshare down in Cabo, and are prett much the whole reason this thing is happening), Sean, and me — and the timing, I figured, would be perfect! I’d have more than six months to get my body back to bikini-ready shape after typical holiday-season slacking. It was just the motivator that I needed to get back on the wagon and drop some libbies again, right?

Weeeeell, actually, wrong (as we already know.) I have indeed managed to shave off about 20 – 25 pounds from what I had regained, which is awesome, but in the months since I have clearly stopped making any attempts to hide the fact that I’m not actively dieting anymore. And yet, this tropical vaycay was still looming, looming, looming… and I realized that sooner or later, I’d have to face my body and whether it was bikini-ready or not.

Now, first up, my feelings about the term “bikini body” in general can now pretty much be summer up by the following (adorable) graphic:

But even so, hey, I’m not immune to the pressures that society puts on people to want to look a certain way. I mean, I’m a mass consumer of media in all its various forms, so of course I’m not, hahaha. So I would be lying if I said that the idea of baring skin by the poolside didn’t cause me at least a little bit of stress. But you know me, I’ve never really been able to subscribe to the idea that skinny feels better than food tastes or whatever, so ultimately it came down to whether I wanted to get myself all bent out of shape over how I looked at the beach, or if I wanted to, you know, continue enjoying my life the way it is. And I mean, I know I probably sound super douchey saying it out loud, but my life is pretty stellar right now.

S0 since I am, at least currently, totally uninterested in torturing myself both physically and mentally over a vacation (which, hello, is supposed to be relaxing anyway), I came to realize that the best way for me to get beach-ready probably wasn’t to agonize endlessly over my bodily imperfections. No, I’d take a different approach.

Rather than forcing myself to do a juice cleanse in the hopes that it’d shave another 1/4 of an inch off my general body circumference, I decided to do a mental cleanse instead. I rejected the notion that summer is limited to people who wear single digit sizes. I faced the fact that I am really not as important as I make myself out to be, and people out there enjoying their own vacations really don’t give two hoots what I, some random stranger with outrageously colored hair, am wearing at any given time.

I know, I’ve talked a bit about this kind of body acceptance before, of course, because it’s always been true. But my past posts were written with the looming idea that I still needed to lose weight. So, you know, I could love my body and all, sure. But in the back of my mind I was still telling myself, “Just don’t love it so much that you stop wanting to fix it.”

Weeeeell, obviously I have a little bit of a different perspective about things now. I don’t want to have to fix anything anymore. And you can say that’s just me being lazy, but it’s not going to change the fact that I fully embrace the fact that any body really can be a bikini body. After all, just like bodies, bikinis come in lots of different shapes and sizes. And whether you have thunder thighs or flat butt syndrome or belly flab or big boobs or small boobs or no boobs, you’d be pretty amazed at how great a relatively tiny amount of fabric can make you feel, if it’s the right cut.

This idea of there being different swimsuits for different bodies isn’t news, of course. I’ve been reading magazines for years, all offering advice on what swimsuits work best for different body types. Small bust, wide hips, broad shoulders, hourglass, there were options for all, and the features usually even came with photos of real-life women illustrating the effects of properly allocated swimwear.

In retrospect, though, I realize that while these articles might have been a great way to showcase poolside fashion, they still fell into the trap that a lot of  mainstream fashion does when it comes to dressing one particular type of body shape: they don’t really know what to do with it, so they just cover it up. Which, yes, granted, not everyone has a nice flat tummy to showcase between the top-part and bottom-part of your swimsuit, but does that mean we’re not allowed to show it at all?

I have distinct memories of flipping through magazine pages as the feature addressed pear-shaped and straight-shaped and hourglass-shaped figures and showcased adorable, fashionable bikini looks for each of them, only to finally get to the “Full Figure” or “Plus Sized” section at the end and have it be full of one-pieces and tankinis.

Yeah, kinda like that.

And hey, don’t get me wrong, there are some might fine one-pieces and tankinis out there. I’m a big fan, myself.

20140723-185757-68277068.jpg

Terrible iPad selfies aside, this is literally my favorite suit to ever exist in the history of swimwear. I pretty much just hung around the house wearing it all yesterday afternoon because I didn’t want to take it off, that’s how much I love it. I mean, aside from the whole wet swimsuit + full bladder predicament that surfaces every once in a while, I’m all about the one-piece. But I think you know that really isn’t where my issue lies.

I just don’t love the message that it sends when the media showcase all these different kinds of women looking fab in two-piece swimsuits… except for one kind. Because even larger, thicker, curvier, whatever-er women can still look totally bangable in ‘kinis, and not showcasing that fact, as unintentional as it may be, still perpetuates the idea that we should be hiding our bodies because there’s something wrong with them.

Luckily, I think the tide is finally beginning to turn on that front. Maybe it’s due to the resurgence of vintage-style clothing coming back into vogue (high-waisted bottoms FTW!), or maybe it’s because of body positive figures like GabiFresh (I believe she’s the originator of the term “fatkini”), but either way, I am so on board with all women being able to wear whatever the hell they want and hopefully feeling beautiful and confident while doing so.

20140723-185757-68277847.jpg

Which is why next week you will see me, proudly rocking my own fatkinis (given how much I’ve admitted to hating the word “fat,” I actually really love the term “fatkini”) and maybe even inspiring other women to do the same. It’s your body, after all. Wear what you want!

And that goes double when on vacation.

Snapshots & Stitch Fixes

Happy Monday, friendos! I hope you all had wonderful weekends, the lot of you. Sean and I continued our 2-year anniversary celebration this past weekend, so it was pretty fab… though, as you can probably guess, involved a liiiiittle more foodstuffs than I probably should have indulged in. Thank goodness my weigh-ins are on Fridays now, eh? Hahaha.

Anyway, in the spirit of always being honest and transparent with you guys (plus the fact that I’m a weirdo and I love seeing what other people are eating), I figured I’d share a few snapshots of some of the things I’ve been eating recently. I promise it’s not all from dining out, too! I even have a couple of recipes to share with you guys this week, so there.

Untitled

Whipped up a glorious batch of my (and Katniss’s) favorite Lamb Stew with Dried Plums — although evidently the Polar Vortex made it so that there was no good lamb at the grocery store, so I used beef instead. Still delicious!

332A9583.jpg

Played a game of pantry roulette and ended up creating a hot steaming bowl of deliciousness that included farfalle pasta, bacon, peas, and amazing mushrooms with a super light cream sauce just to bind it together. I know you all probably read the word “cream” and your collective buttcheeks all tightened, but I promise that it was still a very diet-appropriate dish. Recipe to come soon!

Tuskies Collage

A iPhone pic collage of some of the amazingness that we experienced at Tuscarora Mill, where Sean took me for our anniversary dinnah. It’s in Leesburg and it is DEFINITELY worth the drive. You can peep my review on Yelp if you want deets about everything we ate (spoiler alert, it was a lot more than what is shown, hahaha), but that on the right there is a truffled goat cheese ravioli with mushrooms and pulled short ribs. I KNOW. I had never been so excited to eat leftovers the next day IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

332A9597.jpg

And, finally, last night my friend Reema came over and we whipped up a recipe from my homegirl Cassie’s AMAZING new cookbook: Beer & Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese. It really was just as delicious as it sounds, and even Sean got on board with the hidden butternut squash in the sauce. Mm-mmm, good. I’ll post more deets about the recipe (and Cassie’s cookbook!) soon!

So, lots of good eats (though in retrospect, I realize that there is a lot of pasta pictured. I promise I’ve been eating, like, vegetables and salads and stuff, too, hahahaha.) over the past few days, and even better ones to come!

So, in addition to all the deliciousness, time with friends, and anniversary celebration stuffs, I also had another fun addition to last week: I received my first Stitch Fix! Those of you who are already familiar with Stitch Fix are probably sick of hearing about it, and honestly, I kinda was too. But just before the holidays I had a chat with my friend Rachel about how much she was enjoying it, and I finally gave in and figured I’d give it a try. And when they hit it RIGHT OUTTA THE PARK with my very first box, I knew I had to share it with you all!

Untitled

So, for the uninitiated, Stich Fix is like a mail-order personal shopping service. You set up a style profile and you can do one-time or monthly recurring “Fixes” (same price either way, $20, which is applied to the cost of the clothing if you end up wanting to keep anything) and they send you five items that they think you’d like! I was skeptical as to how personalized it would really be, but they let you link to things like your Twitter, your Pinterest fashion board (if you have one), and I even put my blog address in the extra field at the bottom. And when I received my box, and it came with a personal note explaining all of the items, AND it also pointed to my love of polka dots which they would only have known if they really HAD checked out my Twitter and blog and whatnot, I knew this was pretty legit.

Untitled

Of course, it helped that the totally knocked it out of the park! I received a dress, two cardigans, a shirt, and an infinity scarf. Every single item is absolutely my style, and has details that I looooove. The dress has a light polka dot pattern and has that vintage-ish silhouette that I love, the blue cardi has polka dot detailing on the pockets and down the button closure area, the red cardigan has a light butterfly cut-out print and AWESOME buttons — each button is different! — and the infinity scarf is a bright, fun orange and THEY PUT A BIRD ON IT. Many birds, in fact.

The striped shirt was the only item where, before trying it on, I was kind of meh about, but once I did put it on, I LOVED it. It’s actually really flattering, incredibly soft, and super comfortable. Horizontal stripes! Who knew?!

I ended up feeling the most iffy about the red cardigan after trying everything on, just because from a distance there was nothing too special about it. But because Stitch Fix offers a 25% discount if you end up purchasing all five items, it was essentially free — the cardigan cost less than the amount I ended up saving from the discount! Plus, it ended up being way cute when styled with the dress instead of on its own — I ended up wearing the combo to Tuscarora Mill for our anniversary dinner!

Untitled

Speaking of pricing, you can set your price points for all the various categories of stuff they offer. So in that way, you can totally emphasize the clothing items that are most important to you. For example, for jewelry and accessories, which I don’t particularly care about, I put “As cheap as possible,” but for dresses and outerwear, I said I was comfortable with paying over $100 for those. Now, it just happened that every single item in my first box was between 28 and 48 dollars (yes, even the dress! I ended up paying just over $100 for all five items with the discount and the $20 styling fee I already paid going towards the total), so this was like a double-win in that arena.

ANYWAY. Enough talk about Stitch Fix and my latest obsession. I promise that this is not a paid promotion or a sponsored post or anything like that — they’re not paying me to say these things! (Though, as a disclaimer, the “Stitch Fix” hyperlink above is my referral link for the site.) I was just REALLY impressed with this service, especially because I was admittedly worried that I was too big to fit anything they offer. Which, now that I bring that up, is probably the only real problem with it, because the biggest size they offer on their style profile is 14… and, let’s be honest, that is deeeefinitely pushing it for me right now. So it bodes well for my continued weight loss efforts, but it was kind of a crapshoot whether I’d be able to fit everything they sent this time around. Thankfully it did all fit… but still. Broaden your sizing horizons and you will be utterly perfect, Stitch Fix!

OKAY. Sorry, sorry, enough chatter for now. Hope you’re all having utterly tolerable Mondays, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

Under the Moon

Haaaappy Friday! I’m still recovering from the emotional trauma that was back-to-backing the Vampire Diaries season finale (WHAT THE WHAT?!) and The Office SERIES finale (all the sads), so I thought I’d post something light and fun today. It’s aaaaalmost like a Fashion Friday post, except instead of me awkwardly posing for you all, all the fashion you’ll see in today’s post is still firmly on their hangers.

OJ1A9131.jpg

Last night I had the opportunity to attend an event at the South Moon Under store in Merrifield’s new Mosaic District. If you’re local and haven’t been to Mosaic yet, by the way, you need to get there STAT. It’s awesome — every week I feel like there’s some new hip trendy something-or-other opening up. Someone give me a floppity jillion dollars so I can afford an apartment there, k?

OJ1A9125.jpg

OJ1A9141.jpg

OJ1A9133.jpg

The event was a special Rebecca Minkoff trunk show being hosted by the Real Housewives of Northern Virginia blog.

OJ1A9126.jpg

Alas, I didn’t win any of the exclusive Rebecca Minkoff handbags they were giving away, but I did get to look at pretty clothes, nosh on some snacks, and hobnob with some local fashion bloggers, so that was fun! Bloggers also got a little swag bag at the end, which was a super nice touch.

OJ1A9143.jpg

OJ1A9129.jpg

OJ1A9135.jpg

OJ1A9130.jpg

OJ1A9139.jpg

And, of course, because I am physically incapable of walking away from a sale (they were offering everything in the store 20% off during the event), I did end up making a couple purchases of my own.

OJ1A9148.jpg

I debated for a long time between the lion head earrings and the elephant earrings, before ultimately deciding to get my elephant on. They’re so cute! I also picked up a pair of sassy combat boots that will be making an appearance before long, at which point you can tell me if I’m pulling them off at all… or if I’m just deluding myself, hahaha.

A fun night! I feel like this weekend is going to end up being very well-rounded, actually. Last night I got my dose of fashion and whatnot, and tonight I’m shooting photos for a classical concert series. Look at me, so cultured! Now, if I can just squeeze in some time to see the new Star Trek movie, I’ll have it made in the shade.

Have a great weekend!

My Body, Dressed My Way (Giveaway!)

Hi my internet loves. I know I’ve been MIA for the past couple of days (not that this should really come as a huge surprise to you all at this point, of course), so I think a proper “hello” is due! So, I received a lot of questions about the lace dress I wore to my extravagant birthday dinner that Sean treated me to last Thursday. And I held off on answering those questions because I actually had a very specific post in mind in which I would talk about it. I actually had planned on posting about it Tuesday, but in light of the tragic events in Boston, it just didn’t feel right doing so. I still don’t really feel “right” about posting, but I missed blogging, and I missed you guys, and shocking though it may be to hear, my Hunger Games birthday party wasn’t the only thing to happen over the past week.

IMG_1237
IMG_1246

That’s right. MELTED CHEESE AND FLAMING CHOCOLATE HAPPENED, TOO.

What was I talking about? Oh, right, the dress.

IMG_1188.jpg

To preface this, let me say that despite my 60-pound weight loss… and then 15-pound weight gain… and wherever exactly it is that I’ve landed now (I’m admittedly a little scared to weigh myself after my birthday dinner AND Melting Pot date with Aileen and Ai Rei AND birthday party–hahahaha, weight loss blog, schmeight loss blog) I have always had a fairly defined body type. Whether at 250 pounds or 186, size 20 or size 12, plus-sized or straight-sized or somewhere in the great unknown between, my general body shape has stayed pretty much the same: hourglass, with large ladies on top, wide hips, and a soft belly.

That’s me. And it’s taken a long (long, long, long, long) time to come to accept that. To accept the fact that no matter how much weight I lose or how thin I get, my body is probably never going to look like Rachel Bilson’s or Mischa Barton’s or, well, I’m not sure why I’m using actresses from The OC as the golden standard of ideal bodies, but you know what I mean. I’m not lean and lanky, I’m not slender and willowy, I’m curvy and tall and thick and–short of being seriously malnourished–will likely always be this way to one degree or another.

Now, let me be clear that I am not complaining about this fact. Not anymore, at least. Sure, I may not have a flat stomach (I cannot even tell you a single period in my life where my stomach has EVER been “flat”) or “thighs that don’t touch”, but even at my current weight, I can still appreciate my body for the things it does have. The things that some other women probably complain about not having. Boobs. A butt. Height. Long legs. A defined waistline, even if it’s got some extra padding around the front.

All that said, being comfortable(ish) with my body does not mean I wake up every morning with a huge smile on my face, thinking, “Oh! Glorious day! I feel beautiful beyond compare!” Accepting that my body is the way it is does not equate to having full, unbridled self-confidence. It does not automatically mean I feel beautiful and put together 100% of the time. It generally takes at least a modicum of effort on my part to feel confident and sexy in my own skin, and to achieve this, I need to ensure I am wearing clothes that A) fit, B) flatter, and C) I actually like. With an always-changing body that most definitely does not conform to Hollywood standards of beauty, this is not always an easily accomplishable feat.

To satisfy the A) criteria, I first have to accept that the size label on the inside of my clothes means NOTHING. Far more important than the actual number, is how the clothing fits. But, of course, that’s not always an easy pill to swallow, especially for those of us who have long equated clothing size (in addition to the scale) with our self-worth. But a size 12 is not a size 12 is NOT A SIZE 12. And because they’re all jerks, J. Crew and Old Navy and H&M and Loft and NY&Co and Forever21 all have very different ideas of what each size means.

IMG_1268
Sized up to 14 for this dress. Also, BAM. See what I mean? There’s no denying them curves. Oy.

Sometimes this works in my favor, like when I’m in the dressing room and I realize I need a smaller size, and suddenly all I want to do is announce to ALL THE NAKED LADIES in the dressing room with me that I can wear a size M sweater. Buuuut more often than not, it means that I have suck up the fact that I might need to size up, but that doing so does not make me less of ANYTHING.

To satisfy the B) criteria, I need to embrace clothing that flatters the body type I talk about above. This means getting over the fact that there are certain fashion trends I cannot pull off (farewell, sack dresses), and getting INTO the ones I can (like anything that belts at the waist).

IMG_1222

So while I absolutely love the blue Calvin Klein empire waist dress that I own (and wore to dinner with my two Ais on Friday in the pic above), I have to admit that it doesn’t really do much for me. It makes me look wider and thicker than I am, which, in turn, doesn’t make me feel great about myself when looking back over these pictures. Although, given the amount of melted cheese we consumed, I maintain that wearing something loose at the waist was probably a good call, purely from a practical standpoint.

Which brings us to point C): finding clothing that I actually LIKE, in addition to fitting and being flattering. I know, right? How much more can I possibly demand of the clothing industry?! Back when I was larger, I would settle for clothing that wasn’t particularly appealing all the time, simply because it fit. Did it matter that I didn’t particularly care for those colors? Did it matter that it pinched my underarm a little, or wasn’t the right length? Of course not! It fit over my head, it zipped up, it buttoned. That was the only thing that really mattered, because surely I didn’t deserve to actually feel fashionable or cute or sexy or beautiful. It didn’t matter that the clothes might not have been my style, or even that I HAD a style (which, if you were wondering, falls somewhere in the vintage/romantic/feminine/preppy aesthetic… I think). No, I just needed to find clothes that fit, that were more socially acceptable than the XXL hoodie and stretchy pants that I really wished I could have been wearing.

NOT ANYMORE. Enter, my newest closet acquisition:

IMG_1191.jpg
Shabby Apple I’m Late! I’m Late! Navy Lace Dress

Shabby Apple approached me asking if I would be interested in hosting another giveaway for you guys. (I held one waaaay back when that ended up being quite popular, for good reason!) I told them that I absolutely was interested, as long as they were comfortable with me using the giveaway as a means to open up a discussion on what it means to try and dress for your body type. Thankfully, they were MORE than on board, and let me pick a dress from their site to illustrate my point. I ended up choosing the I’m Late! I’m Late! dress from their Mad Hatter Collection (best collection ever, amiright?) and am could not be more pleased with my choice.

IMG_1189.jpg

Given that I’m not 100% happy with the weight I’m at right at the moment, this dress made me feel elegant and beautiful, while also making sure I didn’t feel self-conscious about the way my arms looked thanks to the lace sleeves. Cap sleeves tend to be a larger-armed girl’s worst nightmare, and it’s really difficult to find a vintage-style dress without them, so at least these had the extra covering too. The cut of the dress nips in at the waist while skimming over my hips, which is my ideal silhouette. I received SO many compliments on this dress! (It comes in purple, too, just saying.) In my opinion, this is very much a dress that exemplifies all three criteria: it fits, it flatters, and I don’t just like it, I LOVE IT. (It is just a smidge longer than is ideal for flattering my legs, but I think it’d probably be easy enough to hem up the lace on at the bottom.)

So now is your chance to find something that makes you feel equally as good! I’ve got a $50 Shabby Apple giftcard to give away to you guys, and all you have to do is…

1. Like Shabby Apple on Facebook.

2. Leave a comment back here telling me something you’ve learned (or are learning) to LOVE about your body!

That’s it! I know this is pretty much old hat by now, but I like giving you guys as many opportunities to win as possible, so–as always–extra entries are given for liking HISTG on Facebook, following me on Twitter, and tweeting/posting about this giveaway. Just makes sure you leave separate comments for each one, and in order to win you MUST like Shabby Apple’s Facebook Page. Unfortunately, this giveaway is open to US residents only.

ETA: I’ll be picking a random winner on Wednesday, April 24th! Sorry for forgetting to mention that little nugget of crucial info, ha!