A Gloomy Place

 

“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”
“Can’t all what?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
“Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush.”

                                                   
 

As if you couldn’t tell from the above, I am in a bit of a gloomy place today. Feeling just a little bit hum-drum, dwelling in the doldrums, in a funk, etc, etc. Yesterday wasn’t a great day, I guess. But hey, it’s probably about time for another emotional roller coaster ride anyway.

I thought it would be a good day. A great day, even. When I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, I was back at my pre-Fourth of July weekend weight! Which means that by some miracle I not only didn’t gain weight at the beach, I lost weight at the beach. So, as I said, it had all of the ingredients to become a good day.

But, it just didn’t turn out that way. So by the time lunch rolled around, and I walked into a meeting where free pizza was being served by the boxful, I helped myself to a slice. Then another. And even though I was stuffed after those two (tiny squares of thin-crust these were not), I helped myself to another after that. I’m trying to take solace in the fact that a year ago it probably would have been 5 or 6 slices, but it still doesn’t make me feel good that I still fall victim of my old habits: eating just to eat. Eating because you’re sad, or lonely, or just a little bit off.

After driving home in a scary torrential downpour, my spirits weren’t much higher, but around 6 the sun came back out and had dried out the sidewalk. So I tried. I really tried to take my pity-partying self and turn the day around.

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I tried to go for a run.

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And barely made it a mile before stopping to walk most of the way back. While the 19:45 pace showing on the watch isn’t my average pace, just the pace from my walking around taking pictures of my sweaty self, it might as well have been. I could probably try to blame it on the humidity (thick), the heat (all-consuming), having just eaten (I had) or other various factors, but really, I just blame myself. How is it possible to have degenerated from being able to run 3 miles at 210 lbs to not even being able to run 1 mile at 192 lbs? It’s just… disheartening.

I so wish that I could be one of those people that spews out quotables like, “You never regret a workout!” or “Running clears your mind.” or “Work out, and you’ll work out your problems.” But I can’t, because most of the time, I don’t really believe them. Running isn’t mind-clearing or peaceful for me, it’s painful. From the first step it is a full-on battle with myself: my body, my brain, my heart, and my willpower fighting to the death, fighting to see when I’ll stop. And yes, I do feel pride when I complete a race, or finish a run strong, and the “after” does sometimes outweigh the misery of the “during.” But it isn’t easy for me. So after a gloomy day filled with drama and tension and stress, a bad run was just the cherry on top of my sadsack sundae.

But okay. Enough. You guys don’t need to hear any more about my irrationally depressing day, and I know that I do have things to look forward to. Namely (perhaps only) this:

 

The midnight showing for which I shall be in attendance at tonight. If anyone else is going to be seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 at Tysons tonight, let me know! I’m really cool, and I could use a seat buddy. Yep. I’m so cool that all my friends deserted me and I’m going alone. But if anyone else happens to be going there, you can revel in the awesomeness of my rockin’ Gryffindor track jacket, you lucky thing.

Don’t be surprised if tomorrow I’m depressed too, just for a totally different reason. It’s the end of an era! And today’s run should be a good one. It will involve sprinting to get a good seat in the theatre, and that’s a mental battle I know I can win.

Daily Eats – 7/13/11

Breakfast

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Big Train iced mocha mix made with skim milk, water, ice

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Another slice of Greek breakfast casserole I made last night

Snack

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A whole wheat hot dog bun slathered with Justin’s Honey Peanut Butter and Chocolate Hazelnut Butter

Dinner

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TJ’s frozen mushroom ravioli doctored up with some frozen shrimp, frozen spinach, and a little sour cream added to the sauce.

Unpictured: Luna bar (breakfast), 3 fat ol’ slices of pizza (lunch), Popchips (snack), coconut milk ice cream (dessert), 4 or 5 li’l Reese’s Pieces (depression). Yeah, it was just one of those kinds of days.

Bright Lights, Ocean City

Hallo! Here we are with part dos of my Ocean City beach weekend adventure. Need to catch up on Part 1? Clickity click, you know the drill.

I Heart You, Ocean.

I know I left you in rapt anticipation of reports on the rest of my weekend (which, of course, I’ve deluded myself into thinking you actually care about, mwahaha) so let’s get to it!

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After the beach happened on Sunday (since every day started off with the beach, duh!) we went a-mini-golfin’. This was not just your average, everday putt-putt though…

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This was PIRATE mini-golf!

Ahoy-hoy!

ARRRRRR!

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I was purple, natch.

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Swing and a miss!

I was also terrible at mini-golf, natch.

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At least I had fun trying!

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I’m pretty sure that losing at mini-golf is not the thing that will set me over the edge anyway. Besides, I knew I’d be able to drown my sorrows at the Boardwalk afterwards anyway!

Ocean City Boardwalk
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Boardwalkin'

Drown my sorrows in ice cream, that is! Dumser’s is amazing.

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As you can see, I basically made love to my soft serve orange and vanilla swirl.

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You’re welcome for that.

Monday morning ended with more time on the beach, my back getting wrecked by the sun (worth it!) and a long, lazy drive home — complete with a Cracker Barrel pit stop. All in all, a fabulous weekend.

Now when’s the next beach trip? 😉

Daily Eats – 7/12/11

Breakfast

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Luna Bar

Lunch

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Taco salad

Snack

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Some mango guacamole and chips.

Plus an unpictured bowl of cereal.

Dinner

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Greek breakfast casserole (recipe to come!) topped with a spoonful of white bean & basil hummus

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Plus an extra sliver and the last leftover remnants of Ben & Taylor’s lasagna, haha.

Eeking my way back on track. Mid-week weigh-in tomorrow… ahhh!

The OC

Just Beachy

No, you silly geese. Not the show. The place!

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I’m back from my beach vacation thoroughly satisfied and sunburnt. Hooray! I think I did a fairly good job sticking to my plan to eat better even if I wasn’t eating great while there. Check it out:

Game on.
The Fridge

VERSUS:

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*My* Shelf in the Fridge

Yup. Hahahahaha. There was, of course, room for a few indulgences though!

Hurts Donut?
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Portion control, baby!

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The condo we stayed in was small but definitely fit the bill, and it was right on the beach! What else can you ask for? The first picture of this post is the view from our balcony — sweet, right? And the nautical decorations were, well, you know. We all have a special relationship with those fish now.

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Even though my friends are fail at pre-ordering their Harry Potter 7: Part II midnight showing tickets (guess who’s gonna be standing in line at Tysons all by her supercool self?), they were a pretty fun gang to spend time with at the beach, I guess. 😉

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We make a pretty studly group, if I do say so myself. Even if we are incapable of taking a decent picture without constant threat of photobombs.

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Le sigh. <3

I did discover rather quickly that beach = sand, and sand = fear for expensive camera’s life. So, not too many photos were actually taken of me ON the beach (sad, I know!) But I did take plenty of mini-golf and our boardwalk adventures. As well as several self-indulgent portraits of myself, haha.

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As for the aforementioned activities, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait to see those puppies since I don’t want to be responsible for your death via photo overload, haha. So! I’ll either be back later on today or tomorrow with the rest of the pics from the trip. Since I love you though, I will give you a preview of our epic putt-putt game (where I respectably and unsurprisingly placed second-to-last, haha):

Swing and a miss!

Bahahaha. I am the best mini-golfer ever.

What’s your boardwalk must-have? Are you a taffy person? Boardwalk fries? Pizza? This weekend the treat that took the cake for me was the ice cream from Dumser’s on the boardwalk. I got vanilla-orange swirl and it was amazing!