The Curse of the Four Eyed Monster

Once upon a time, in a land rather far away, a little brown-haired girl was sitting in the back of her 3rd grade classroom. The lesson of the day was multiplication, and the little girl’s teacher was showing the class a big yellow chart upon which she had written a multiplication table.

The little girl looked quizzically at the yellow board. She could see the board, and she could see that there were numbers written on it, but she couldn’t see them very clearly.

“Mrs. Roberts,” the little girl asked, squinting as she raised her hand high in the air. “I think you need to write the numbers bigger. I can’t read them.”

Of course, little did the girl know that she was, at that very moment, succumbing to become a victim of…


Okay, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic. Yes, I was indeed an adorable little girl with dark brown hair, who, in the 3rd grade (at the ripe old age of 7, in fact), found out that I needed glasses. But considering I converted to the blessed religion of disposable contacts at the even riper age of 11, it hasn’t really been a huge deal. I mean, I’ve spent more of my life with impaired vision than without, so I got used to it, you know?

Now, that being said, that isn’t to say that life hasn’t had it’s unfortunate circumstances due to the fact that I have terrible, terrible eyesight. My contacts prescription is -7.25 and my glasses prescription is -7.75 (or something like that). And for those of you who have no frame of reference for those numbers, that is pretty bad. In fact, my vision is so awful that it is absolutely impossible for me to go about my daily life without SOME kind of corrective lens. This isn’t some kind of “I need glasses when I read” or “I have worse vision at night” thing. This is straight up “I am basically blind” stuff right here. And that, naturally, means that the times when I am forced to go without glasses or contacts, it’s not super fun.

Like the time I was at camp, and my glasses broke when I fell off the tire swing, so I had to wear my prescription sunglasses for the rest of the summer. Or pretty much any time I’ve ever been swimming, ever, and unable to open my eyes underwater for fear of my contact lenses just floating on away. Or that time I was driving home from work, and I got something in your eye, so I rubbed my eye and then my contact popped right out — poof! And fell somewhere onto the bottom of my car so I had to drive the rest of the way home with one eye closed.

Yep. C’est la vie. Or at least, it is my life… until tomorrow morning. Because bright and early tomorrow, I am going under the laser and getting LASIK.


Getting laser eye surgery is something that I have honestly thought about since I was probably 13 years old. Of course, it wasn’t actually feasible from a monetary standpoint until now (this ish is ‘spensive!), but it does feel like I’ve thought about it for FOREVER. It’s just always seemed so… liberating. The thought of not being dependent on glasses or contacts to see. Not having my glasses fog up when I get hot (which is, er, a lot of the time, actually). Being able to wake up in the middle of the night and not have to squint to high Heaven just to see the time on my bedside clock. Being able to fall asleep without having to go through the horrible dry-eye that comes with falling asleep with your contacts in. Getting to avoid the entire pre-bed ritual of taking them out in the first place! Ahhhh, SO MUCH FREEDOM!

Of course, there is some vanity involved, too. I mean, if I wasn’t vain about it, I probably wouldn’t wear contacts in the first place, right? But that honestly isn’t the main reason that I want LASIK. Heck, since I’ve been confined to my glasses for the past two weeks (a pre-procedure requirement), I’ve even had many people tell me that I should wear my glasses more often!

It’s cool though, since I’ll be even more of a hipster if I wear the frames WITHOUT the lenses anyway, right?

Again, it really comes down to the liberation of not being dependent on something — glasses OR contacts — in order to be able to see. And while, admittedly, I’m a little scared of the idea of a machine cutting a flap into my eyes with lasers, I’m pretty darn excited, too. So think good thoughts for me tomorrow morning! Good, clear visioned, 20/20 thoughts.

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Have you had LASIK? Ever considered it?


  1. Reesesays:

    I’ll admit, I’m jealous! I’ve worn classes since middle school. And contacts since high school. Someday I’ll opt for the laser treatment myself!

    I’ve heard, though, that when you get pregnant, the hormones and changes in your body can alter the lasik. And you can only get lasik done three times before it becomes unsafe for your eyes. Does this play into your decision at all? What do you think about it?

    • Gretchensays:

      I have heard that too, and while I can’t say I’ve looked too far into the research done there, I admit it’s not a huge concern of mine since I don’t have plans to get pregnant any time in the near future. I figure that in another 5 – 10 years, when I will be closer to kid-having, there’s a chance my vision will have changed a bit anyway. But either way, even if I have a -0.5 prescription by then or something, compared to what I have now that ain’t even a thing. πŸ™‚

  2. I got glasses in seventh grade & started wearing contacts in 8th grade. This year, for the first time in years, I tried glasses again, & after three days, I was still so dizzy that I swore them off except for nights at home watching TV. Which is a bummer, because they’re kind of adorable.

    My mom scheduled LASIK today! Color me jealous.

    • Gretchensays:

      Dude, the first couple days of me having to wear these glasses (after literally ONLY wearing my glasses for like, the 10 minutes before and after I fall asleep), were TORTURE. Your eyes just see very differently with contacts and glasses, I guess. But I did get used to them. Just in time to never have to wear them again! πŸ˜›

  3. I’ve worn glasses since 5th grade, but I don’t think I’ll ever get lasik – the idea of even minor surgery freaks me out. Actually, even the idea of contacts (cause you’re putting a piece of plastic on your eyeball) freaks me out. So I wear my glasses all the time, but fortunately my vision isn’t too horrible – like, the clock on my nightstand is a little fuzzy, but I can see it well enough to read the numbers.

    Good luck!

  4. How exciting! Makes me feel all happy! I got my eyes from my mom, so they are pretty good; my sister got my dad’s eyes, which are pretty bad…funny how that works out? My boyfriend’s mom had LASIK about 2 years ago (?) and she LOVED it. Still does love it! She is a nurse + avid gardener, so both contacts and glasses seemed to bother her.

    Good luck!

  5. I had a friend in college who got Lasik. She talked it up by saying she got as much Valium as she wanted (which was only like two doses), and all she felt on her eye was pressure. No pain at all.
    I’ve got -2.25 vision in both eyes (tres convenient, no?) for glasses. Not sure what my contacts prescription is, but if I could afford it, I’d get Lasik done.

  6. Gwensays:

    OMGeee I love that sweater! ON? Good luck with the lasers! They say they aren’t sophisticated enough for my eye problems yet (still?!?).

  7. Best of luck with the surgery!!!

  8. I’ve needed glasses since I was 11, I wear them and contacts, lived in my contacts in my 20’s but when hit my mid 30’s and they got harder to wear and my close to eyesight is getting worse too – I’m so turning into my mother! Never thought about surgery but as short sighted as you are, I can see why you’d do it! Good luck!

  9. Melaniesays:

    I wore glasses from the age of 7 also and started wearing contacts in my early teens. My eye sight was as bad as yours. I too was basically blind…until 5 years ago when I had Lasik. It changed my life!!! It was the best thing I could of done. I’ll never forget the morning after it was done when I was looking out the window and I noticed I could see the branches and leaves at the very top of the trees. It was amazing! I know you will be so glad that you got it done…Good luck to you! πŸ™‚

  10. Nicolesays:

    Ugh, I feel you! I’ve had glasses since third grade too and mine are a -9.00 in both eyes. Having such bad vision SUCKS! I want to do LASIK, but I’m super nervous about somehow ending up blind, or about spending a ton of money and still needing to wear glasses or contacts 24/7 anyway. I’ll be really interested to see how yours turns out!

  11. Jennysays:

    It has actually occurred to me that in the zombie apocalypse, we’d all be pretty glad to have LASIK. I mean, if you broke your glasses or lost your contacts in that situation, you’d be pretty hosed.

  12. Kimsays:

    Honestly, I’m jealous. I WISH I could afford Lasik. πŸ™

  13. I’ve had LASIK, and I am so glad I did!!!
    I had to start wearing glasses in the first grade I think, so when I got my LASIK in my mid 20’s I was excited.

    Not going to lie, it’s a little scary, but they do relax you and it doesn’t hurt (of course).

    Best of luck to you, I’m betting you will be THRILLED!!! πŸ™‚

  14. Congrats!!! I had LASIK in march of 2011 and it is awesome!!! I forget sometimes that I needed contacts. My vision was not nearly as bad as yours, I was only -2.5 haha

  15. I cannot begin to express how jealous I am that you can have lasik. I have bad eyes too (-9.50 in contacts, -10.25 glasses), but I don’t have enough cornea left for lasik. ENJOY!!

  16. thanks for this great post! lucky for me my vision is still quite normal although there was a time i had correctional eyeglasses.

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