I lived for 29 years before I knew you. 29 years as a daughter, sister, friend. 29 years learning and growing and trying to be a mostly good person… at least as much as a self-focused, immensely self-absorbed person can be.
29 years before you took your first breath.
The breath that changed everything. Turned my whole world on its axis. Suddenly and swiftly cut my entire life into two very distinct, very separate parts: before you, and after you. And I can barely even remember what it was like before. Not to say that my life prior to becoming your mother didn’t matter, or wasn’t important, of course it was. But it’s just memories and feelings, and you’re here, real, vibrant, and alive.
Your existence brings every moment of my life into sharper focus (aside from all the foggy, forgotten things that have been lost due to mom brain, that is.) I see the joy in our daily lives with so much more clarity, and I feel the sadnesses of the world much more heavily. It’s not an exaggeration to say that you have made me a better person. After 29 years of laziness, inaction, and lots of talk but little follow-through, you make me want to better our world. To implement change — in myself, in our lives together, in the world as a whole.
You opened my heart in a way I never knew was possible, and you cut the very ties that bound me to my selfish way of thinking.
Your birth changed me in the most incredible, most unpredictable, best possible way. I know, I know, it’s all just so cheesy. This next bit possibly being the worst offender. It’s ridiculous to say aloud, let alone type and chronicle forever in the hallowed halls of the internet. But you will come to learn very quickly (if you don’t already know) that your mama is one of the most ridiculous people you’ll ever meet. And I dunno, I just kind of… own it.
August 30th, 2017 was the day you were born, but it was the day I was reborn.
This has been the absolute best year of my entire life. Yes, it’s also been the craziest, most challenging, humbling, overwhelming, frustrating, all-in-all incredible year, but I wouldn’t trade a single second of it. Seeing you change, grow, learn… it’s the most beautiful thing, and I’ve had the extreme blessing of being able to witness almost every single second of it with you.
You are so, so, so incredibly loved. Happy birthday, baby.